However!
OK, don’t get me wrong, I love my family. I think family is, for the most part, the glue that holds us together. These people should be the ones that you go to for advise on a regular basis. These people should be the ones that you turn to when you have a crisis, or when you have good news to share. For these people, our beloved family, we even make exceptions in our core values.
Yes you will go to the birthday party for Grandma even though she smells like mothballs, and that smell makes you gag. Yes you will go to your cousins wedding, even though you haven’t seen her in 20 years and you know she is just looking for a gift. We will also hug our brothers even though dudes don’t hug. We will even kiss our sisters at Christmas because we think it is the right thing to do. We will for the most part do things for our family that we would never even dream of doing for others.
On these things I am in total agreeance (if that’s even a word).
However
When it comes to the family reunion, why is it that some people feel the need to have these reunions with their beloved families in the skinny little isles of the grocery store? Do they not realize that there is only room for two carts to pass, and that the twelve of them have already gone past what is safe for fire code?
They will wedge themselves six wide between the butter and the milk so that no one can pass.
You can say excuse me a hundred times and they still won’t move. Is it because I am not part of the family that they ignore me? Or is it that they cannot hear me over the constant nattering and hugging? Now what? Try the fake cough? Na, they won’t hear that.
Oh man, I got shit to do. I use my cart to nudge the fat one in the thigh, she turns to look at me, as well as what was in my cart (She was fat remember).
The scowls from her and from the rest of the family were unbelievable. Why am I suddenly the rude one for using my cart as a battering ram. If you have your frigging reunion somewhere else you ignorant bastards, no one would have gotten hurt. They disburse like little mice, all the while killing me with their eyes, and whispering like ghosts in the attic as I pass. I am not part of the family and I have invaded their space. Fuck off, and get out of my way!
I got my milk!
As much as I love my family no reunions for me!!
